it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
