Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
