There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
