please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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