put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
