The maid of honor just puked.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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