It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
