You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
