I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
