Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
