Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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