Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
home. puking in laundry basket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
