You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
