You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
