i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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