You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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