He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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