I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
