the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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