i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
