I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
