they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
