Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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