I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
