Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
