proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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