Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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