I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
