just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
