sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
