after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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