Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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