After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
