I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
