dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
