"it" just moved
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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