This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
