do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
