I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
