some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
