i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
