what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
