honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
