Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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