the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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