I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
