I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
