i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
