remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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