There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
