her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
