You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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