He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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